Hi everybody! Welcome back to Snap Mayors, I hope Monday-itis and the insane heat of this past weekend hasn’t hit you too hard. Personally, I feel like I’ve been in an Inferno Match battle royale, but hey, life goes on. In case you’re new here, my name’s Mick, and I’m here to review the best weekly episodic wrestling show going today, the PWA Premiership!
In case you’ve been living under a rock, or in a cave next to Ugg, here’s the gist of what the PWA Premiership is all about:
- It is a round-robin tournament, similar in style to NJPW’s G1 tournament.
- There are two blocks- Block A and Block B- consisting of 8 wrestlers each.
- Matches have a strict 10 minute time limit.
- All wrestlers in each block will face each other, and the winner of Block A will face the winner of Block B in the finals.
- Points are awarded as follows- 2 for a win, 1 for a draw and 0 for a loss.
- If there is a tie after all wrestlers in a block have faced each other, both/all of those wrestlers advance to the finals.
This week we have Round 4 kicking off with Block A action! The intensity of the tournament is hitting Ken Shamrock levels, and the heat level continues to rise. Fortunately, the leader of Block A knows a thing or two about massive levels of heat, as Unsocial Jordan is ruling the roost right now with 6 points. He’s got no space to get comfortable though, with Sam Osborne, Charli Evans and Mick Moretti hot on his heels. At essentially the mid-way point of the tournament, a win or loss could really make or break someone’s hopes at the finals here.
Let’s do this!
We waste zero time this week getting to the action, with ring announcer Nick Wray standing by to give intros for the opening contest. William Preston makes his entrance, and his customary sign this week is quite a crude one to describe Sir Sam Osborne and Don Marnell Esq…
Match 1: William Preston (2) vs. Sam Osborne (5) (w/ Don Marnell)
Marnell with his rhyming promo before the match. In an alternate universe, he would have been the star of 8 Mile. And it would have been tremendous.
Workman-like approach from Osborne, with a quick fireman’s carry takeover into a side headlock on the former Prefect. Soon after, a kimura takedown. Guillotine locked in right after, but Preston gets to the ropes. Waistlock takedown and the Prize Bull maintains control on the mat.
Back on the feet, William tries to snatch an arm, but Osborne just chops him down. Finesse out the window at least momentarily with some clubbing blows by Osborne. A cover with a forearm in the face, ala William Regal, gets a 2 count on Preston. Backbreaker/T-Bone Suplex combo follows for a slightly closer near fall.
Preston finally creates separation with a jawbreaker and he’s on the comeback. A bulldog out the corner gets a 2 count, and he follows up with a wheelbarrow bulldog for another close call. Preston goes for the Overdrive, but gets countered. Shortly after, he winds up in Osborne’s kneebar, and he taps in short order to preserve his leg for another day.
Winner: Sam Osborne (7) (at 5:00)
Star Rating: **1/2. Straight-forward match, pretty much what I expected from these two results-wise and action-wise. Osborne now leads the board across both blocks.
Post-match interview with Sam Osborne & Don Marnell. “Well, what did we tell ya?” crows Marnell. He turns can’ts into cans. Losing streaks into winning streaks. What boat doesn’t sink? That’d be Osborne’s Premiership!
A few words with a dishevelled William Preston. “Another loss… I went into it a bit cocky.” He references using schoolyard tricks in the past, but he’s trying to grow up and be an adult.
Match 2: Kai Drake (1) vs. Mick Moretti (4)
Two of the more… unhinged characters in PWA, and they start off at a break-neck pace, trading strikes and grappling attempts. Drake goes for a basement dropkick early, but Moretti avoids it. The Rapscallion uses the bottom rope to perform a leg trip, causing Drake to fall flat on his face! Moretti pulls the “got your nose” trick (talk about schoolyard), and it goads Kai into taking a massive forearm strike, following by a running leg drop across the apron!
Back in the ring, Moretti maintains control for some time. Drake tries to whip him into the corner, but Mick performs a Flair Flip, followed by a spin kick from the apron. He goes for his trademark stalling slingshot senton, but Drake gets the knees up! Now he lands on the basement dropkick. Drake beats Moretti down with his vicious strikes, but the Rapscallion creates separation with a diving clothesline from the middle rope.
Both men down for a moment, then they get to the knees and start trading headbutts, Junkyard Dog-style! We get a flurry of strikes from both men which ends when Drake hits a bridging German Suplex for a good near fall. Moretti gives a receipt moments later with a German into the turnbuckle, followed by a Meteora to the back of the head, followed by a Fisherman Buster for the win! Holy neck trauma, Batman!
Winner: Mick Moretti (6) (at 5:11)
Star Rating: ***1/4. More action packed, competitive and hard-hitting than the opener, this told the story of a focused Moretti able to get the job done comfortably without the distractions of Matty Wahlberg at ringside.
Post-match interview with the Rapscallion. He sings, “I see you…” He’s moving on from Gen Now and looking at his competition in the Premiership. The victory is still in reach…
Match 3: Paris De Silva (2) vs. Kingsley (0)
Fellow Generation Now members squaring off here. Paris offers a handshake, Kingsley accepts, but then tries to kick him. He blocks the kick and places her leg back on the mat. More exchanges where they have some clean wrestling, but De Silva continually gets the better of it all. A frustrated Kingsley bails to the outside to take a break, but when Paris follows her, she throws tea in his eyes. I mean, I’ve had ladies throw drinks in my face before, but never tea. Hopefully it’s cool, at least…
Back in the ring, Kingsley levels Paris with a clothesline and gets a near fall. Interestingly, Kingsley and Paris aren’t too far apart in size here. Kingsley grows in confidence though as she beats the spirit out of the Spartan. A well-placed boot to the face gives Paris an opening, and the basement dropkick that follows garners him a 2 count. Kingsley fights out of a cravate submission and the match breaks down into a fight as they trade wild punches on the mat.
Paris goes to hit Kingsley again but she begs off and gestures to the Gen Now shirt that she’s wearing. She gives him a hug… then turns it into a belly to belly! I’m just over here, all sad and lonely, like “still got a hug… still counts”… I’m fine, guys, seriously. The deception gets a 2 count. Soon after, Paris locks in a modified version of The Throne (seated abdominal stretch) and gets the submission victory!
Winner: Paris De Silva (4) (at 6:53)
Star Rating: ***. More story driven, but it was a good story being told. Some fractures in Gen Now… but we’re constantly told that it’s not really a faction, it’s a movement. So does dissension like this hurt the ethos of the group, or is the Gen Now set-up immune to this kind of in-fighting? Time will tell.
Paris De Silva, step up to the mic! Paris says that Kingsley loves the tea, and the tea is… even though Kingsley is a member of Gen Now, she’s using tactics like her Uncle Jack… of the Nations… part of the Old Guard. Anyway, the Premiership rolls on…
Match 4: Unsocial Jordan (6) vs. Charli Evans (4)
Jordan is wearing a white turtleneck, which seems relevant for some reason. Charli makes her entrance, and announcer Nick Wray correctly identifies her as representing the Medusa Complex, making him the best announcer in PWA. Well, since we lost Diego, anyway. We miss you, Diego!
Charli immediately looking for blood and a limb to snatch, but Jordan- ever the veteran- slows the match down by getting to the ropes. Full nelson locked in but the Unsocial one gets to the ropes again. He rolls the sleeves of his turtleneck, and oh shit, it is on! Charli quickly grounds him though with a headlock takeover. She transitions to an armlock shortly after, then grabs the fingers, forcing the conservative Jordan to flip the bird. That’s joint manipulation that Snoop Dogg would be proud of (sorry, Jordan). Mind games.
Charli blasts Jordan down with a shoulder block, and damn, Jordan bumps for it like he’s The Rock facing Hogan in Toronto. Jordan avoids the facewash attempt and starts laying the boots in. Fist drop gets a 2 count. Falcon Arrow gets a closer near fall. Half and half suplex, followed by a kneeling superkick- an even closer call, but still not 3. An angered Jordan grabs his tripod- get your minds out of the gutter- and hits Charli with it- seriously, behave! Referee Nick goes to call for the bell, but Evans stops him. She doesn’t want the 2 points that way.
So referee Nick agrees, and this just became a hardcore match! Charli hits a flatliner in the corner into a chair wedged in it. Near fall. Jordan body slams her on a couple of chairs. Near fall. Jordan sets up a table… and hits Charli with a fireman’s carry driver (an old Snapchad move?) off the apron through the table. What a move! With the clock ticking down, Jordan manages to get Charli back into the ring and falls across her. 1, 2, 3… but he fell in a way where his shoulders were down too. Unsocial Jordan and Charli Evans split the points!
Winner: Draw- Double Pin (7) (5) (at 9:44)
Star Rating: ***1/2. Just when I think PWA have presented every possible outcome in these Premiership matches… we get HARDCORE stuff? The whole referee’s discretion thing and the match getting progressively wilder with it reminded me a lot of New Japan, which is a good thing. Charli’s background in deathmatches was mentioned, which I really think I need to check out after this display!
Charli Evans with a few words. Jess Troy helps her to the interview desk. Charli talks about the different styles she’s had to face. “I can do f**king anything, and I’m going to win this tournament.”
Unsocial Jordan has something to say. He apologises to the SMS followers because he promised a clean sweep, but he’s still leading the way in the tournament. Stand with SMS, or fall with PWA.
Another high quality outing from PWA. This episode felt like it was organising a lot of pieces to put into play later, but we still had a good time getting there. Moretti got back on track, overcoming the “demons” of Gen Now. Sam Osborne emerged as a strong contender, proving that joining the MMA with Don Marnell was a worthwhile endeavour. William Preston and Kingsley continue to struggle with both their identities and their ability to find success in PWA. And Charli Evans is super tough. She took a couple of really nasty tumbles. If you wanted to argue her as the MVP of the Premiership, I think you could make a really solid case for it. That main event really ended the show on a surprising and entertaining note!
Overall Score: 8/10
CURRENT PREMIERSHIP STANDINGS
- Unsocial Jordan: 7
- Sam Osborne: 7
- Mick Moretti: 6
- Charli Evans: 5
- Paris De Silva: 4
- William Preston: 2
- Kai Drake: 1
- Kingsley: 0
- Jessica Troy: 5
- Mat Rogers: 5
- Big Fudge: 4
- Lyrebird Luchi: 4
- Matty Wahlberg: 3
- Jimmy Townsend: 2
- Jack J. Bonza: 1
- Jude London: 0
I’ll be back next week with my coverage of the PWA Premiership! Hope you all have a great week!
Until next time, take care.